‘No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.’
~ Terry Pratchett
Losing someone suddenly or slowly hurts. It hurts so bad, sometimes you can’t even breathe. When you lose someone they live on in memories, pictures, videos, online profiles and through their loved ones. But when you lose someone it can help to have a memorial for them. A place, a thing or just a picture on your nightstand can comfort you when you would’ve needed that person to comfort you.
For me personally, it helped tremendously, to ‘built’ a memorial for my mother. I made a few actually; the first one is my necklace that I wear day and night. The necklace is a yingyang sign which holds a little bit of my mothers ashes. I never take off the necklace, except for my dance recital once a year. And even then I feel insecure, unsure of every move I make because even though she is with me, she is not. Knowing that I literally carry a piece of her with me, with every step I take, helps me stay grounded and secure. I feel like I can take on the entire world with that one necklace around my neck.
Even though, I have my necklace, I also have a picture of her and me on my nightstand and my desk. When I’m studying for school this picture gives me comfort because her smile encourages me to push on, even when it’s hard and I would want to quit.
I believe that these kind of things can uplift you but also people who knew the person you have lost. Just ask what you can do with the ashes of your loved one or maybe there is this one accessory that you want to keep and preserve. Think of places or spots around your house where you can see it without being confronted all of the time.
Memorials are beautiful and can help but if it is too hard for you. Give it time. Take your time. It is okay if you rather not look at pictures. Do what feels right for you.