Do you ever stop grieving?

In reality, the pain of losing someone doesn’t go away. They say it gets easier over time and it has. Not easier to live my life without her but it gets easier to deal with the constant pain that I’m in.

Sometimes the tiniest things can make me upset. Sometimes I laugh so hard that I start to cry and suddenly I’m crying as if some took her from me, all over again. It doesn’t change. You cry and you continue with your life, knowning that the person you’ve lost would want you too.

People who tell you to ‘Get over it’ or ‘It’s been 2 years, shouldn’t you be moving on by now?’, they don’t know what they are talking about. You never get over losing someone. You learn to live your life without them even though you would feel that much better if they were there.

Some people ask me if I’ve been to therapy after losing my mum, and I did go for one session. The therapist told me because I was 16 at the time I could only go to one other person and they were away on holiday for another 2/3 weeks, the waiting list for the therapist was 8 weeks without calculating the 2/3 weeks of holiday extra. I decided to go on to the waiting list, I knew I had the best friends ever to count on. The people who had been there for me after Nepal, the people who helped me survive. They were all I need to process the loss.

If you don’t like talking to other people or your friends about losing someone, try writing a diary to get your feelings out. Or try a sport, I for one, started dancing to get the frustrations, the anger and the pain out. Dancing helped me cope. My friends helped me laugh again. Even if it felt wrong to laugh, it is okay. You do not have to be depressed or sad all the time after losing someone.

I added a video of me during dance class on my instagram. For anyone who would like to see it, head over to my instagram!

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